Volunteer Stories  |  Marek

I have been following Buddhism for seven years now, on and off. During this time I came across 'Vipassana' meditation. This was invaluable for my later experience at the Wat. I would definitely say a basic idea of meditation helped as I felt 'armed' as it were for the inevitable long days and nights. A good website is http://www.buddhanet.net where you can print off a free book detailing a Vipassana retreat.

My retreat started with anticipation (like most journeys do) and I had lots of plans and expectations of what would happen during my stay. The first few days after meeting the instructor monk who would visit every 2-4 days went slow; but I was so excited and enthusiastic I didn’t notice. The monk sat and showed me the techniques I needed and we chatted about the retreat and where I was along the path of meditation. This was helpful to get an idea of what I needed to be taught. I was then left to it in my Kuti (hut/cell) to practice. I practiced meditation standing, sitting, walking and reclining. Focusing, even with my previous experience, was very, very tough. "Stick with it" was my mantra... I am very glad I did. It was like this every month too, "Just keep going" I would say to myself. One day at a time is best…one hour at a time, minute... second.

I was by a still pond in a quiet area. Nongkhai could be heard every now and then – a reminder of the outside world I would leave behind for two and a half months. "Will I make it?" "Can I do it?" went through my mind everyday. At times I wanted to leave, run away, eat pizza, hotdogs and I dreamt of a full English breakfast. The craving was full on. Before I thought myself to be ok at refraining but that was soon proved a misconception. Eventually however, the ‘noise’ of the mind, and these seemingly important cravings left me. Then I could truly contemplate the Buddhist idea of 'no self'. Peace is only achieved through facing the noise- stillness achieved through motivation and focus. Meditate. Sit, stand and walk, all day every day is basically it. The monk would come, we’d talk for an hour then he’d leave. Eat little, sleep little, speak little, Food would arrive at 7:00am and be taken at 10:30. This is your food for the whole day. No eating after midday, no comfortable bed - nothing fancy. I have heard some retreats are strict. This one was not as strict as some others. I had Buddhist books to read, borrowed from a monk.

At times I lost my motivation and I voice in my head would say "should I go?" “Am I wasting my time?” But then, another voice simply said, "Stay at it" "It’s worth its weight in gold." In fact, now I feel no amount of money could be put on the fruit of these efforts. My advice: keep at it. They say Vipassana is very powerful and I whole-heartedly agree.

After my experience in the temple, I can say that by far, I have a long way still to go. But the experience was great, the monastery was friendly and so were the monks and nuns. In conclusion, the time I spent was pleasant in a wholly new and unexpected way. Words can’t really do it justice, nor would I want to say all of what happened for fear of planting expectations in other peoples minds. A lot comes up and we deal better than we expect. But like the Abbot said “Please, don’t give up, keep going.” These are wise words.